Fatal Flaws

As a parent, I sometimes forget how much my first grader hears and understands.  Sometimes I wonder how long she thinks about things before she asks me…

This morning she says:  “Mom, did you know that kids die if their parents leave them in the car too long?  Why would any parent do that?”  Apparently she heard the news over the summer while at the cabin with her dad.

I had to stop for a moment and collect my thoughts with this one.   I could easily ridicule the parents who have left a child in a car that resulted in death.  I could easily explain to her that those parents are bad parents and I would NEVER do that.  

But, the truth is…  I HOPE I never do that.  I HOPE I am one of the lucky ones that will never have to experience the loss of a child, especially at my own hands.  And I HOPE any parents I know will never experience it either.

It is so easy for parents to act perfect, like we have it all together.  But we don’t.  We forget to pack lunches, or send sunscreen with our kids to school.  We forget to check homework and leave field trip permission forms on the kitchen counter.   We forget to do laundry and send our kids to school with dirty socks or socks that don’t match.

WE ARE NOT PERFECT, luckily for the majority of parents, our failures are not fatal.  Our kids won’t starve by missing lunch one day, missing a field trip won’t cause our children to be taken away from us, and dirty clothes are just dirty clothes (After all…no one will notice-your kids get dirty at school anyways.)

Can you honestly say you have never:

·        Driven past daycare on your way to work, just to turn around and drive right back?

·        Forgotten to pick up your kid from school/sports/church? Or thought your spouse was picking up?

·        Forgot to buckle your kids seatbelt on your hurried rush out the door in the morning?

·        Forgot to bring the dog in for the night?

·        Been so tired you can’t remember driving to work?

·        The parents who say they have NEVER done any of the above – I call shenanigans! 

It is so easy to criticize the parents who left their kids in the car, but what is it that made you realize you missed the turn for daycare?  What was it that kept you safe while you drove to work completely exhausted and disconnected from the present?

How horrible would we all feel if all our failures were captured in the public eye?

“A Crystal mother forgot to do laundry and sent her first grader to school with dirty socks!”   “A first grader was left behind at school while rest of her class went on a field trip all because her mother forgot to send back the permission slip.”

And don’t forget the commentary. 

“Oh My – how hard is it to do laundry?  I mean you just throw the clothes in the washer… It’s not rocket science.”

“That mom should be charged… I mean really, she couldn’t send the permission slip back?  It’s neglect, that’s what it is.”

Come on people - Get Real!  It could as easily be one of us burying our precious child. 

“Elyzabeth, those parents made a mistake.  Just like when I forget to make you a lunch on gross lunch days.”

“So those parents are sad because their kids are dead?” 

Yes, those parents are very very sad.  And the last thing they need is other parents carrying on like we are perfect.

Tonight, when I forget to help my daughter with her homework or make her a lunch for tomorrow - I will be grateful that my mistakes are not fatal, grateful that my child screamed at the right time so I could turn around and drop her off at day care, and grateful that I can raise a child who knows I am not perfect and loves me anyways.