The Perfect Fit

As a kid, I always felts as if I didn't belong or fit in with the kids around me.  I felt like my passion and my drive wasn't the same as the kids around me.

As an adult I have struggled with some of the same feelings... Not quite fitting in.  Like trying on a really cute shoe that only gives you blisters at the end of the day.  So even at the age of  37, I am still looking for that perfect fit.

When my daughter started Kindergarten, I signed her up for girl scouts, which also meant I became one of the leaders.

I love leading.  And I love teaching the girls "stuff."   But, it is so hard to know where to begin.

This weekend I had the AMAZING opportunity to attend the Girls Scout Connections retreat.  This retreat geared towards adult leaders was a way for me to find out more.     And boy did I learn ALOT.


I took a really great seminar on Girl Scout traditions.  Although I already knew most of the history of Juliette Low, the traditions and ceremonies were all very very new to me.   I learned about Girl Scout songs and museums.  I was blown away about the amount of influence the birth place of Juliette Low has on girls across the country.

But aside from the traditions and ceremonies, I found an amazing place to just be me.  Whether I was feeling talkative, meditative or just silly - there was always room for me no matter what activity.

And through out the weekend, I thought a lot about what I want my troop to learn through out their girl scout years...

I want my girls to know that no matter what happens, there is a girl scout family out there to lean on.

I want my girls to remember, they are only one piece of this huge puzzle.  And although it is huge, it is never finished with out every single one of them where they belong!

I want my girls to learn and understand the traditions that have been passed down through the last 100 plus years.  Tradition is the best way we can honor those who have come before us and help us focus on moving forward with purpose.

But most of all, I want my girls to know that do a good turn daily is a huge step in making change in our society.

So many things are going to happen to every single one of our girls.  There maybe times that the world seems too broken to put back together.  But what I want all girls to remember is that change starts very small.  Juliette Low started an amazing organization with just 18 girls, a movement that is now over 3 million members.   If each girl scout did one good turn daily, that would be 3 million steps toward a better world for our children yet to come.  Doesn't matter if it is simply picking up a piece of garbage in the parking lot or serving at a food shelf or taking the time to talk to someone who looks lonely.

Just do SOMETHING.  

And eventually, you will find your place.  You will finally put on that shoe that is the perfect combination of style and comfort - the one that is the perfect fit.

So, good night all - I am exhausted and spent.

But tomorrow - the journey begins.  For my perfect shoes  looks like this:

DO NOTHING!

I am NOT one of those people to sit back and DO NOTHING.  If something happens I need to react, I need to resolve… I need a plan.

I was pregnant with Rebekah when we were waiting to hear about Kindergarten Lottery for Elyzabeth in the fall.  In March, we found out she did NOT lottery in to any of the schools that made day care easy for us.  She was simply in the standard half day kindergarten – in a different district than our daycare. 

So, I started planning… I actually had a plan, and 3 backups... just in case.

  One of the back up plans was me staying home.  We could make it if I stayed home with both girls… Not my favorite idea, but it would do…

Luckily (For both my sanity and my child’s) the school called me and she made it into the full day kindergarten class up the road from our house.

Catastrophe – adverted!

So now, as I have agreed to do nothing – I am going slightly insane!

We met with the school again yesterday.  This time we met with the principal and the reading instructor.   The assessment from the reading instructor was EXACTLY what I had been telling the teachers last week.  My daughter is REALLY REALLY good at guessing.  She doesn’t read, she “improvises.”  Words she should sound out, she guess… Obviously, She is not reading at grade level.

Since spring break is next week, and the results of her testing will be available April 13^th, we have agreed to do nothing.  Yep –Do NOTHING!  No research on schools, or tutors to hire.  I will not be calling schools to checking on waiting lists.  Basically, I will ride the breeze – Go with the flow!

WAIT!?!?!?! WHAT!?!?!?

Yeah, soooo NOT happening! 

Now where did I put that application for Sacred Heart?....

LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE!

It’s that time of year again – Spring!  And with it all the joins that Spring brings, mud, bugs and School Conferences.

As you may have noticed from my previous posts, my 7 year old can be a handful.  Not to say that she is a bad kid, she just has her challenges as all kids do.

Some of her challenges have to do with change.  She cannot handle change – it literally makes her physically and emotional crumble.   When it would happen at 2, I was told it’s a phase.  Kids throw tantrums.  At 5 I was told – she is adjusting to a new little sister and starting kindergarten.  But what do you say when she is 7?

Over the past couple months we have been talking to the school about evaluations and all that jazz.  I feel she needs additional help to adjust to the demands required in first grade.  She is seeing a Psychologist to help work through some of the emotional issues, but it is not enough.

               In early February we met with the teachers, principle and special education program to discuss what they have seen vs. what we have seen at home.   

First – the special education director agrees that she is showing symptoms of Asperger’s or somewhere on that spectrum.  The teachers agree that she has a hard time adjusting to change and struggles with transitions from one activity to the next.  

However, the teachers say she is passing all requirements for first grade.  Therefore, there is no reason to test her or do further evaluation.

My daughter report card:  

Applies phonetic skills to write words:  N

Applies phonics and decoding skills to read words:  S-

Reads Fluently:  N

How is that passing?   How is that reading at grade level? 

So, Last night I challenged the teachers.  And they stood by their opinion that she can read by justifying it this way:

               She can read and knows all her sight words. (That is NOT reading.  That is Memorization)

               She can read a book and get the words right, like hospital or doctor.  (Really – the page has a picture of the difficult word – again, how is that READING?)

She cannot sound out words, she does not understand phonetics, but she is catching up in reading.  (Really – how can she read if she can’t sound out words.)

               Other kids are farther behind in reading than she is.  (SO, just because other kids are doing worse than her it is okay? )

               It is March 18^th.   There is less than 3 months left of School and my child can’t read.  My First grade daughter CAN NOT READ. 

And my first grade daughter is giving up.   This far into the year, she isn’t even trying to read any more.   This morning she was refusing to go to school because they are doing reading testing today.  

So to her teachers who refuse to admit they were wrong:

 I say:  LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE!